I was reading a chapter in my sociology book dealing with gender and sex. Those being separate entities of course: sex is determined by the biological features and gender is how we identify ourselves as individuals. It is important to examine gender roles in the context of the society and time period because many aspects of those things influence how individuals identified themselves.
Peers, society, the media, and parents all influence us in sometimes subtle ways. As a result of those influences, we begin to identify ourselves as one gender or the other. We then look to our peers and society for cues on how to maintain that new identity.
The socialization approach to how we identify our gender states that gender identification and behavior are based on children’s learning that they will be rewarded for the set of behaviors considered appropriate to their sex, but not for those appropriate for the other sex. The problem with this approach is that it limits a person’s creativity. If parents think that painting or dancing is only appropriate for a girl, they will frown on their son taking part in such activities. Conversely, if parents see sports as being only for boys, then they will deter their daughter from taking part. I believe that this strangulation of self expression can lead to rebellion and deep resentment later in life. Not to mention feelings of being held back from true potential.
The psychoanalytical approach is the theory that gender identification is based on children’s unconscious internalization of the qualities of their same sex parent. This one is obviously false. What about single parents? If a man is a single father, do his daughters grow up to be more masculine? Do they identify themselves as male gender-wise? No and No. If a single mother raises two sons, will they identify themselves as female or grow up to be more feminine in nature? Again no and no.
The interactionist theory tells us that gender identification and behavior are based on day to day behavior that reinforces gender distinctions. Of the four theories stated, this is the one I agree with most personally, although it is a bit unfortunate. The unfortunate limitation with this approach is that women in some ways continue to perpetuate the opinion that we are inferior and can’t fend for ourselves in the world. This idea also has limitations for men: they feign ignorance and incompetence to get out of doing work they feel is a “woman’s job”, thereby robbing themselves of any self satisfaction from sharing responsibilities in keeping a home running.
All of these theories have limitations, and all of them hold individuals back in some way. What people need to realize is that children are individuals, not robots to be programmed in one manner or another. A wide variety of experiences should be had by every individual and more emphasis should be placed on how that person contributes to society rather than how they identify their personal gender.
My own experiences in life have impacted me in many ways. Sex and gender-wise I am female, but fortunately my parents did not throw me into, nor push me into a gender role. I was given toys for both sexes: baby dolls AND He-Man for example. My father took me fishing and I was encouraged to play sports and be active as a young child. My parents didn’t really hold me back much as far as that goes.
When my being female began to have a negative effect on my life is when I was in the foster home for several years. The family was very Christian, and as such, the gender roles were clearly defined and strictly enforced. I could no longer play baseball, I had to play softball because “thats a girl sport”. I wasn’t allowed to learn archery or hunting skills, even though the father took all the boys out, because “hunting is a man’s sport”. I couldn’t have male friends because “boys and girls don’t play together”. It had a negative impact on my life because I was suddenly going from being mostly free (as free as children can be), to having rules and restrictions and hearing “because you’re a girl” on a regular basis. It was disappointing and detrimental, I believe, to my growth process. I found it confusing and frustrating. Once I was out of the foster home, and as I grew older and more into myself as an individual, I had those freedoms again, because nobody in my family says “because you’re a boy” or “because you’re a girl”.
Sex and gender are incredibly important aspects of a person’s life, and identifying oneself can be intensely personal, sometimes painful, given the views the society at large has on such things. It’s hard to imagine the confusion and frustration that some people have to go through to identify themselves and be accepted members of a community. There are solid and often immovable lines drawn and we are forced to stand on one side or the other. This is detrimental to uniting a community. A person should be judged by their contributions, not by their identity of themselves. We should not have to alienate ourselves from one another over such a trivial matter; and it is unfortunate that we must.
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sources:
myself
Cherlin’s Public and Private Familiesd
